We Who Are About To Lose
by Fairady
Summary: And how many times did it take you to beat Sephiroth? Sora isn't having much more luck. bit 'o yaoi


Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and it's characters belong to the mighty team of the Mouse and the Square. I own nothing and make no money off any of this. 

Warning: Bit of yaoi, coarse language, and my humor.

Notes: Yeah, I haven't beaten Sephiroth yet. So what? He's a hard bastard to beat!

We who are about to lose  
by fairady

* * *

**Round 1**

Lightning blinded Sora and he flinched backwards as it struck the arena in front of him. Dark spots blocked his sight and he desperately tried to blink them away. He found himself looking at the crouching form of a man.

Or maybe a god. Sora stared in awe as the leather clad vision stood up to his full six foot height. The bright white feathers rustled as one angelic wing was extended. Light seemed to flicker around him. Long silver hair framed an angular face and vivid green eyes that glowed unnaturally.

It was the flashiest entrance he'd seen in the Coliseum. The crowd in the stand seemed to agree. Their screams and applause were almost as deafening as the thunder that had accompanied the silver haired god.

Sora called the Keyblade and hefted it's reassuring weight. This fight promised to be a good one.

**Round 2**

Sora flung a hand up too late to block the searing flash of lightning. He must have been staring straight at it because when his vision cleared the god had already stood and was staring silently at him.

Sora flushed slightly as he called the Keyblade to his hands. Their last fight had been mercifully short. The god beating him so thoroughly Sora hadn't been able to enter the coliseum for a week. Phil hadn't allowed it out of concern for his health. The god was strong and had an unholy speed, but Sora swore that this time he wouldn't be caught off guard by it.

**Round 13**

Phil had made a great deal about the match this time. The faun had refused to let Sora go through with it firmly convinced something spectacularly awful would happen. But then again Phil had made a big deal out of his seventh and ninth match saying he was sure to win those.

Donald had to stun him with a bolt of lighting and help Goofy stuff him into a nearby barrel. Sora sped through the preliminary rounds not bothering with any of his usual showy antics. He didn't want to risk getting pulled out when Phil woke up.

Sora closed his eyes tightly to avoid being blinded and waited impatiently for the man to rise. He'd lost the illusion of Sephiroth being a god the night he'd had the unfortunate experience of being the sympathetic ear to a completely sloshed Cloud. He'd also learned more than he ever wanted to know about both men's sex life. The blonde had just caught his lover in bed with another blonde that Sora sincerely hoped wasn't the same Cid he knew.

The upside of it was Cloud had taken an almost manic interest in training Sora to beat his ex.

Sephiroth seemed slightly haggard and a few of his feathers were bent and dirty. Not too bad for a man who'd spent the past week sleeping in the Coliseum's locker rooms. Sora grinned and summoned the Keyblade. With any luck the man would be too stiff and sore to move at his usual speed.

**Interlude**

He didn't know how it was possible, but apparently Sephiroth had been merciful in their previous fights.

Various cards and flowers crowded the stand next to his bed bringing some color to the otherwise plain recovery room. Phil had announced that he would be well enough to leave on his own in another week. Until then Sora just had to count the cracks in the ceiling.

**Round 165**

Was it his imagination or was the bastard smirking at him?

**Round 172**

He wasn't imagining things. Not only was the son of a bitch smirking at him, he was laughing too!

**Round 199**

The silver haired freak had nearly hurt himself laughing. He laughed so hard he was too slow to react as Sora darted in and swung the Keyblade with everything he had. The heavy blade swung up from near the ground to smash into his balls.

Hard.

Sora smirked ignoring the pain in his body and the blood stinging his eyes. Donald was quacking something and holding way too many fingers up, but Sora didn't care. It was all worth it just to hear the incredibly high pitched squeal that had been emitted by the other man.

**Round 200**

Sephiroth glared murderously at Sora. According to Cloud the man's voice was still a few octaves higher than normal, and he hadn't been seen in public for several weeks. The blonde warrior had then gone into excruciating detail on how Seph's latest lover had stormed out of the Coliseum screaming something about sexual inadequacies.

Sora itched to say something and bit his lip savagely. He knew exactly how bad he was going to get beat, did he really want to add to it?

_...ah, what the hell._

"You know they've got drugs that can help you with your problems now. Prozac, Viagra."

Score. The man's lips drew back in a snarl that turned his face into something truly demonic. Sora just hoped he could remember it when he woke up in the infirmary.

**Interlude 2**

A large duck sat beside his bed and impatiently went through the story again. "You're name is Sora..."

'Sora' tuned the large duck out and examined some of the colorful cards that were next to him. The strange goat doctor had told him not to worry, his memory would return eventually. So Sora saw no reason in forcing it to return any faster. A plain white card caught his attention.

_'Don't worry, I got pictures. I'm selling copies, but I've got a special set framed and set aside for you.  
- Many thanks and love, Cloud'_

Sora wondered what the pictures were of, and if this Cloud was as nice as she sounded.

**Round 237**

Sora swung his Keyblade around easily, warming his arms up. Even through the thick stone walls he could hear the steady hum of the crowd. Phil had said his fights with Sephiroth were quickly becoming legendary. The faun had been salivating over the amount of money ticket sales had been getting him.

"Hey, kid!" the door to the locker room opened and Phil stuck his head in. "Come here."

"It's not time for my round yet," Sora frowned as he was pushed out into the hallway.

"Yeah, yeah," Phil muttered distractedly. "Here he is! Remember you only have ten minutes to ask questions. If you want more time you'll have to talk to me."

Sora gaped as he was pushed into a small room crowded with people. Flashes blinded him as cameras went off and several people shouted questions at him.

"Is it true that you had an illicit affair with one of Sephiroth's lovers?"

"-does it feel to be defeated so many times in the Coliseum?"

"Are you masochistic? And if so are you into bondage?"

**Round 243**

Sephiroth had a framed copy of the Greece Times with Sora's pole axed picture and the headline 'Number One Loser' in his room. Cloud had told him all about it, having seen it when he was hiding some road kill in the man's closet.

Sora wrinkled his nose as Sephiroth appeared. It hadn't taken him long to throw it out but the damage had been done. Apparently the Coliseum's rinky washing machines weren't enough to get the smell of rotted animal out of leather. Sora grinned and crouched down ready for the attack.

In a flash both combatants leapt at each other swinging their weapons. The crowd cheered loudly as the two blurred across the floor. Sephiroth's blade cleaved into the stones. The silver haired man looked around wildly and found his opponent.

"Oh, god," Sora gasped, desperately trying to keep his lunch down. The smell was horrible! He couldn't get close to the other man the way it was now. A sudden increase in the stench sent him diving as Sephiroth teleported behind him and tried to slice his head off.

Gagging Sora fled to the other side of the floor. Anything to just get away from that smell!

**Round 244**

Cold green eyes regarded him from across the arena, and Sora could already smell him. The last round had lasted for hours. Sora successfully dodging every attack and doing his damnest to keep away from Sephiroth. It had ended when Sora, too sick to care, had stopped running long enough for Sephiroth to knock him out. Unfortunately, for the silver haired man at least, Sora had stopped for the very pressing matter of expelling all the contents of his stomach onto the floor. Or Sephiroth's boots which had been much closer.

This time would be different. Sora took a shallow, calming breath. He'd come well prepared for this match.

In a flash both combatants leapt at each other swinging their weapons. The crowd cheered loudly as the two blurred across the floor. Sephiroth's blade cleaved into the stones as Sora leapt to the side. Keyblade nowhere in site he instead hefted two round things and threw them with all his might before dashing away.

Sora gasped in a breath of air and looked across the floor at the dripping Sephiroth. The man blinked in confusion and lifted a long lock of wet hair to sniff it. Green eyes widened in rage and Sora got a closer look at his flushed face as the man teleported right behind him.

Sora, already expecting it, whirled to throw another febreeze filled balloon with deadly accuracy. He left himself wide open for the attack but, as Sora lost consciousness, he figured it was a good trade off.

**Round 250**

Sora swung his arms around and paced the floor of his dressing room. Phil had finally given the boy his own room. It made waiting for his round easier with no other fighters around to tease him about his record.

"-so he continues to eat this crap that the woman made for him. He's had very bad luck with keeping lovers for a while and he's desperate to get laid. It's pretty pathetic," all fighters except for Cloud that is. The blonde leaned against the wall recounting his latest achievement in torturing Sephiroth. "Poor Seph didn't even get through half the plate before puking. Funny what a few drops of Sage Venom will do isn't it?"

Sora snickered as he pictured that scene. The Sage Venom hadn't been easy to obtain and he'd almost given up on it. It was all worth it though. He couldn't beat the bastard in a fight, yet, but he was enjoying his revenge off the arena floors.

Cloud pulled out a manila folder and handed it to him with a sweet smile. "I think you should get the first and third ones framed."

The Keyblade master gleefully looked through the small stack of 8x10's. They would look good on his walls. His new walls that had so much more space for him to hang stuff on. Sora found a strip of wallet sized pictures. "What's this for? You know I don't carry a wallet around Cloud."

"Yes," Cloud's smile was positively angelic now as he clicked his claws together, "but they're the perfect size to fit in your pocket so you can take them with you. Like maybe into a tournament?"

Sora's smile sent the attendant, who was sent to inform him of his next match, running from the room in fear.

* * *

The end? Maybe, I still haven't beaten Sephiroth. Yet. 


End file.
